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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29387904">crack fic no. 1 in A-C-E major</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/werealldreaming/pseuds/werealldreaming'>werealldreaming</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(that goes for both korkie and dooku), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Crack, Everyone is Queer, Gen, Humor, Korkie is a Vizla, ace subtype: doesn't understand allosexuals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:00:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29387904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/werealldreaming/pseuds/werealldreaming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Korkie and Dooku have something in common.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dooku (Star Wars) &amp; Korkie Kryze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Clan Tille Stans 2021 Ace/Aro Spec SW Valentine's Exchange</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>crack fic no. 1 in A-C-E major</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoliTheSenate/gifts">BoliTheSenate</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the Clan Tille Stans AroAce Valentine’s Day Exchange. I got prompted with Dooku, Korkie, and crack, and well. I tried my best? Sorry, Boli, I think the crack will stay your thing.</p>
<p>Note that this does contain teenagers teasing Korkie by talking about how they find Satine attractive. It’s all affectionate/joking, but Korkie is both kinda sex-averse and related to Satine, in case any part of that makes you uncomfortable.</p>
<p>title inspiration is <a href="https://imadetheline.tumblr.com/post/640153056160481281">this tumblr post</a>, lmao. yes, i know it's not exactly accurate, don't @ me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh hey,” Amis says, leaning back in the conference room chair and tossing his pen up into the air, “did you see that most recent speech Korkie’s aunt did? That one on isolationism?”</p>
<p>Korkie and his friends are in a meeting room in the state hall, where they usually meet on Fridays. <em>Theoretically</em>, they’re doing the weekend’s homework, but is already the third time Amis has tried to pull them off topic today, and Korkie is absolutely sure he’ll do it again before the afternoon is over.</p>
<p>“Yes, I did,” he says. “Did you think I hadn’t?”</p>
<p>Amis snorts. “Of course not. I meant Lagos and Soniee.”</p>
<p>Soniee glances up at the mention of her name. “Hm? Oh, I mean, kind of? I was listening to it, but I was also working on that extra credit thing for my compsci course, sooo…”</p>
<p>“Aw man, you totally should watch it,” Lagos says. “I mean, it was only kind of interesting, but it’s totally worth it to see the Duchess Kryze in that blue blazer. Good <em>lord</em>, I was not prepared<em>.</em>”</p>
<p>Amis glances over. “You know, that wasn’t really what I was going for, but you’re not <em>wrong</em>.”</p>
<p>“Of course I’m not wrong,” Lagos says. “I mean, isolationism is great and all, but she did that thing with her hands, and I swear I just—” she makes a sharp gesture towards her throat, as if to indicate her throat getting cut. “Like, I’m already gay, you don’t need to rub it in.”</p>
<p>“I know, right?”  </p>
<p>Korkie frowns. He’d watched the broadcast, and certainly hadn’t noticed whatever it is that Lagos is talking about. “Am I supposed to get what’s happening?” he asks. “Because I sure don’t.”</p>
<p>“You’re better off that way,” Soniee supplies, not looking up from her tablet. “Trust me.”</p>
<p>“Awwww,” Amis says, mock-pouting, “don’t spoil the fun.”</p>
<p>Soniee rolls her eyes. “They’re talking about how hot your aunt is,” she explains. “Because they’re immature as fuck.”</p>
<p>Korkie blinks, then sighs. “This again? You know what, you’re right, I don’t want to know.”</p>
<p>“Your aunt does have quite the figure,” Lagos says. She wiggles her hands in the air, not quite an hourglass figure but still evoking one.</p>
<p>“Does she? Does she really?”</p>
<p>Lagos laughs. “Listen. It’s not complicated. I want women in suits to step on me.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Korkie says, laughing as well. He buries his face in his hands. “I am literally <em>begging</em> you to stop.”</p>
<p>“No, I absolutely will not.”</p>
<p>Korkie glances over at Amis for help, but he just shakes his head. “Do you really think I would be better?”</p>
<p>“A man can dream?”</p>
<p>Amos laughs. “And then those dreams can get crushed by reality. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m out,” he says, throwing his hands up. “I’m <em>leaving</em>, come find me when you can stop being gross.”</p>
<p>“Bye,” Amis says, waving. “See you never.”</p>
<p>Korkie flips him off. <em>“Goodbye</em>.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t go far—just down to the end of the hall, where he settles himself down on the floor and pulls out his phone. There’s a natural cycle to this prank; he just has to wait for Lagos and Amis to get bored and come out to find him.</p>
<p>He gets through about four rounds of Candy Crush when someone clears their throat above him. “What on earth are you doing sitting on the floor, young man?”</p>
<p>Korkie scrambles to his feet. He doesn’t recognize the speaker, an older man with white hair, dressed in a formal suit and tie. He looks vaguely familiar, but Korkie can’t remember where he’s seen the man before. Although considering they’re in a government building, perhaps he should just assume that he’s also some kind of public servant.</p>
<p>“Ah, nothing,” he says. “Just—my friends are being dumb, so I’m avoiding them a little.”</p>
<p>The man raises an eyebrow. “That does not seem like a particularly useful way to spend your time. I would imagine that speaking to your friends would be more effective than the silent treatment.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay,” Korkie says quickly. “It’s just a prank—they like talking about how they want to sleep with my aunt Satine.”</p>
<p>He turns red as soon as he says it. He doesn’t know this man, who might very well be someone important, or why he’s even bothering to speak with the random teenager he encountered on the floor. There’s no reason to have to share that with him.</p>
<p>“You’re Korkie Kryze, then?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah.” He’s a little surprised to be recognized—his aunt might be a public figure, but she’s not so important that most people recognize him. “Sorry, uh, who’re you?”</p>
<p>“Count Yan Dooku,” the man supplies, and <em>oh</em>, now he recognizes the man. He and his aunt definitely do not get along. Korkie does his best to shove down the immediate surge of anxiety. “And my apologies, but I’m afraid you’ll have to run that by me again. Your friends want to sleep with…Duchess Kryze?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Korkie says. “Or at least, they say they do so they can rile me up. It’s not serious.”</p>
<p>“But…why?”</p>
<p>“I’m ace and they think it’s funny.” Korkie shrugs. “I don’t mind, really, it’s just a thing we do. I wind up my friends with different things as well.”</p>
<p>Dooku shakes his head. “But…it’s <em>Duchess Kryze. </em>She is hardly the woman I’d choose to…how do they say it? Thirst after.”</p>
<p>Korkie chokes on his tongue. There is something about seeing this man, rigid and formal, saying the word <em>thirst</em> that leaves him torn between wanting to laugh uncontrollably and wanting to disappear into thin air. “I mean, I’m not really the one to ask, even if I did experience attraction.”</p>
<p>“No, I would imagine not,” Dooku agrees. “Even so. I can’t say I have ever understand allosexuals.”</p>
<p>“<em>Same</em>.”</p>
<p>They lapse into an awkward silence for a long moment, and then Dooku clears his throat. “Do excuse me. I have an appointment with your father that I have to get to.”</p>
<p>“Right, of course,” Korkie says. “Thank you for taking the time to speak to me.” Then, as Dooku turns to walk away, he blinks and asks, “Did you say my father?”</p>
<p>He doesn’t know who his father is. His mother had never admitted to who had gotten her pregnant, and to this day Korkie doesn’t know who makes up half of his DNA.</p>
<p>“I did,” Dooku says. He smiles. “He’s a very good friend of mine, Pre is.”</p>
<p>And then he leaves, leaving Korkie gaping after him, utterly confused.</p>
<p>“What the <em>fuck</em>.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh all of korkie's friends are queer as well. specifically:<br/>-soniee is aromantic and bi (alloaro), she just cannot be bothered to contribute to the chaos<br/>-amis is bi<br/>-lagos is a massive lesbian</p>
<p>anyway uhh i hope you enjoyed? let me know what you think in the comments? you can also find me on tumblr at <a href="https://ternaryflower53.tumblr.com">ternaryflower53</a> if that's your thing</p></blockquote></div></div>
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